Golden spray burst forth in the night’s sky as a rocket exploded in a flash of the brightest of lights. Dazzling red, blue and emerald sparkles swiftly followed, fanning out across the heavens and arching over the excited faces of the crowd below.

An awesome array of bangs, cracks, whoops and wheezes filled the air around the congregated mass as fireworks shot up, sped across, and spun round, each jettisoning their packets of bejewelled energy in all directions on the vast black canvas.

Andrew never tired of the annual Bonfire Night display. He flinched momentarily at each flash and accompanying pop and turned towards Sue, grinning broadly.

A light, freezing drizzle moistened their faces and each little bead of water clinging to their woollen coats reflected the explosions of colour bursting out overhead, as if joining in with the blazing Technicoloured dance.

Sue, wearing fingerless gloves, and tightly cupping a polystyrene mug containing steaming tomato soup, gently bounced on her toes. Andrew motioned for her to move towards the bonfire to warm up and they inched their way past what seemed like every family in the borough, being careful not to knock into any of the fathers who were bearing their sparkler-wielding offspring on their shoulders.

Being November, and with hundreds of people trampling over the grass, it was muddy underfoot. They slipped and slid their way to the fire’s edge, standing as close as the safety rope would allow. Even from metres away, the heat was fierce, but very welcome.

‘You know what, Sue?’ he asked, without turning to her.

‘Hmm?’ she replied, sipping some soup.

‘That is one large bonfire. I wonder where they get all the wood?’

‘I don’t know, but I’d hazard a guess that it might have something to do with the rather brutal hair cut the shrubs have had over there,’ she replied, pointing to the other side of the park.

‘Oh, yes,’ he replied, peering into the darkness beyond the fire. ‘I see what you mean. It does seem a little less wild.’

He looked at his watch. ‘So, where’s Nate got to?’

‘I’m sure he won’t be long.’

‘Just wait ’till he gets here.’

‘Go easy on him Andrew, he’s been extremely busy lately.’

‘Yeah, well, I’d have found time for him.’

‘Just be kind.’

They both fell into silence, enraptured by the flames that licked tauntingly at a forlorn-looking Guy. Andrew managed to sneak a peek at Sue who was totally transfixed. She looked stunning tonight. Her long blond hair hung down from under her beanie hat and the firelight softened her sharp features. In daylight these provided her with a distinctive beauty and in the glow of the fire she looked exotic.

Andrew remembered vividly the first time they met, and with a great fondness. He laughed at himself when he realised how soft he was turning.

‘What are you smiling at?’ Sue asked, her eyes searching.

‘Nothing,’ he replied, returning his gaze to the bonfire.

‘No, go on, what is it?’ she asked again, turning towards him and running the back of her free hand over her lips. ‘Have I got something on me?’

‘No, no,’ he said, chuckling. ‘I was just thinking about how we met.’

‘Oh,’ she replied, staring back at the burning effigy.

‘You remember don’t you? In Fresher’s Week?’

‘How could I not?’ she answered, stony faced.

‘Yes, Fresher’s Week,’ he grinned, as the Guy’s head toppled off and rolled deeper into the inferno. ‘That chaotic, frenzied time of swapping succinct personal histories and other useless information while downing as many beers and unpronounceable cocktails as possible. Late nights, lost nights, and the occasional bed-sharing.’

‘You?’ smirked Sue.

‘Well, lost nights maybe.’

‘Right,’ she replied, drawing out the word.

‘I was standing in the queue to the cloakroom of the campus bar, do you remember? With my newest best buddies. It’s funny, we felt like we knew each other all our lives and would stay in touch forever – I wonder what has happened to them? Anyway, I was a couple of places behind you in the queue…’

‘Andrew,’ Sue said, flatly.

‘What?’ he replied, looking at her quizzically.

‘Do we have to do this?’

‘Come on, you remember, I was behind you and could hear you spouting on about something or other in your funny voice…’

‘Hey.’

‘Exactly, perhaps a bit more exaggerated than that, but anyway, I started taking the piss, imitating you. But then the sound system packed up and the beats of the Prodigy were replaced by my crap impersonation.’

‘Hilarious.’

‘Oh come on, it was. You overheard, started yelling at me and sounding even more stuffy, which everyone found hysterical, and you stormed off.’

‘Can we change the subject?’

‘But we’re getting to the good bit.’

‘Andrew, please?’

‘I vowed to apologise and I spent a frustrating time clawing my way through stumbling packs of sweaty students to find you. Finally, I saw you at the bar with…?’ he said, closing his eyes tightly. ‘Oh, what was your friend called?’

Sue didn’t respond.

‘Oh well, nevermind, you were both standing there with some garishly coloured cocktails. You were wearing a short, a very short, dark skirt with a white shirt that had large cuffs and collar. And you had that silver necklace with a small heart-shaped pendant.’

‘You remember that?’ said Sue, wide-eyed.

”Course,’ he said, looking at her. Was it his imagination or was she a little pale? He shrugged it off, believing it to be a trick of the light.

Despite the years that had gone by he could still see the younger Sue he fell in love with. It was when he approached her in the bar that it dawned on him how attractive she was. He remembered bodies stepping across his path temporarily slowing his advance, but the pulsating movement of people was all a blur as he continued to focus firmly on one person only.

Sue had had a youthful thinness about her, and although she had filled out slightly since then, it was a trait that she never really lost. The skirt and shirt combo hugged a well-proportioned body. Her golden hair, which she wore slightly shorter in those days – cut to fall just below her ears – framed a beautifully happy face. Prominent cheek bones and friendly eyes gave her a natural expression that always looked content. He was well aware now that she could look fierce when she wanted to, but she’d always had the fortunate ability to pull out a smile effortlessly. For Sue, a smile had always been her natural resting state.

Another rocket burst open, releasing a cascade of sparkles that lit up a bank of thick charcoal clouds moving in over the treeline. He reached over to tuck a loose strand of hair under the rim of Sue’s beanie. She flinched and turned away.

‘Sue?’ he said, softly. ‘Is everything alright?’

She didn’t respond and a feeling of unease crept up on him. How much emotional impact had my accident caused?

‘You know, when I first walked up to you in that bar,’ he continued, fighting the uncomfortable sensation. ‘All my bravado crumbled away, and I was petrified. You were totally out of my league. I remember changing my mind about talking to you and I was about to turn away when a bouncer, who was hurrying to some melee on the dance floor, knocked into me. I ended up right next to you and I had no choice but to strike up a conversation.’

‘And you know what?’ he said, gently. ‘You gave me one hell of a fearsome look. But it was weird, in that moment, I felt I had nothing to lose and I plucked some courage up from somewhere. Can you remember my opening line?’

He shook his head and gave a half-hearted laugh at the picture in his mind. ‘”Hello. I’m a twat.”‘

‘Yes,’ said Sue, under her breath. ‘Yes, you are.’

 

The drizzle turned to a steady rain. Andrew drained the last of the tomato soup and hoped a downpour wouldn’t end the evening prematurely; being out of the flat seemed to free up his mind. All this reminiscing made him wonder about how much he had been taking Sue for granted. He knew they’d had the odd argument over the past few months but it was certainly not unusual in any way. Every couple experienced a blip every so often. But he rarely took the time to remember how lucky he was, that she had chosen him, and continued to put up with him after all these years. He’d make it up to her.

‘So where is bloody Nate?’ he said, after some time. ‘He said he’d be here at seven.’

‘What?’ asked Sue, cupping her ear. He repeated the enquiry more loudly as a fountain of sparks illuminated the sky once more.

‘No need to shout,’ Sue replied, stretching her neck up towards him. ‘I don’t know where he is. He’s not texted so I assume he’s around somewhere, or on his way.’

‘Well he’d better hurry up, it’ll be over soon,’ he stated as he checked the screen on his mobile again.

‘Ah, that’s sweet, do you miss him?’ said Sue, mischievously.

‘Oh shut up,’ he joked, pleased that the resistance she exhibited earlier had seemingly passed. ‘He owes me a couple of pints that’s all.’

‘Well, you’re going to have to settle up another time because you are not touching a drop of alcohol until you’ve finished your medication.’

‘Yes ma’am.’

‘Don’t be sarky, it’s not becoming.’

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see a grinning face peering down at him.

‘Woah,’ he exclaimed. Shadows cast by the flickering light of the nearby flames danced over Nate’s face giving him a maniacal look. ‘Now that is scary.’

‘Well that’s very nice, thanks buddy,’ Nate replied, exaggerating a sulky expression. He made to look as though he was heading back the way he came but Sue caught him by the arm.

‘Hey, Nate,’ she said, giving him a peck on the cheek. ‘Ignore him, he’s a complete imbecile.’

‘Hi matey, long time no see,’ Andrew said, moving towards Nate for their usual greeting of a hug with two sharp pats on the back. His friend stepped to the side and offered his hand instead.

‘Oh, right… hi,’ he stuttered, retracting his arms rapidly.

‘Hi,’ said Nate, frowning. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good, thanks,’ he replied, clearing his throat in an effort to regain some dignity. ‘So, where the hell have you been, mate?’

‘Me? Oh, had to wait ages for a bus; bike’s in the shop, you know how it is,’ answered Nate as he edged out of the way of two kids who were sprinting directly at them, one chasing the other through the mass of people. Nate’s obsessive need to always dress with panache, meant he was never suited to outdoor events, especially in the winter. Unsurprisingly he was wearing completely inappropriate clothing and had to step gingerly around in his highly polished, and very flat, slip-on shoes. Clinging onto the safety rope with both hands was all he could do to stay upright.

‘No. I mean, why didn’t you come to see me in hospital?’ he clarified, with tongue firmly planted in his cheek. ‘I hardly got any visitors; wondered if I’d been forgotten.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Andrew,’ Sue cut in. ‘You know full well I told him you needed space.’

‘Yeah,’ agreed Nate. ‘I was instructed not to come, although I wanted to. And besides, I was doing some auditing up in Birmingham.’

‘Yeah, well. So, you been alright?’ he asked.

‘Well, I’ve been having a better time of it than you, that is certain. Are you sure you’re OK?’ Nate said, looking him up and down.

‘I’m fine, thanks Nate,’ he stated, not appreciating the way Nate was appraising him. ‘Reckon I’m fully recovered now, so work beckons, unless I can persuade the doc to sign me off a bit longer.’ He turned to Sue, eyebrows raised.

‘There’s no point looking at me. If you are feeling well you can go back to work,’ Sue said. ‘It’ll be much better for you instead of moping about the flat.’

‘Better admit defeat, mate,’ said Nate. ‘I don’t think you’ll win that one.’

‘Oh well, worth a try. I suppose,’ he agreed. A booming explosion overhead followed by a succession of rapid flashes in a rainbow of colours signalled the end of the display. Everyone erupted into a hearty round of applause that was punctuated by whistles and cheers.

‘Wow, not bad. Good to see our taxes being put to good use in this age of austerity,’ he said, scanning the park for the soup tent. ‘Anyone fancy a cuppa?’

‘Sounds good,’ said Nate. ‘Sue?’

‘Yes, I could do with another,’ Sue replied. ‘Anything to keep warm.’

‘Tell you what, why don’t you come with me. We’ll leave the invalid by the toasty fire and bring him his soup,’ suggested Nate, taking Sue by the arm.

Andrew watched them move off towards a large white marquee, Nate pulling on Sue’s arm each time he lost his footing like a child on his first ice-skating experience. He finally lost sight of them in the dense crowd and turned back towards the crackling bonfire, wondering if he’d have any soup left in the cup by the time they returned.

Although the magnificent pile of branches, twigs, leaves, and brush had burned down substantially since he’d been there, such was the ferocity of the fire that the embers still gave off an impressive amount of heat. His cheeks burned pleasantly as he lapped up the luxurious warmth and breathed in a good lungful of the wonderfully fragrant wood. He gazed deeper into the centre of the furnace at a region that was shining the brightest white.

Further out from this hot spot in the slightly cooler red-orange areas, less protected from the freezing temperatures outside and where the occasional raindrop sizzled, flames spurted in all directions. As the last of the fuel was hungrily consumed, specks of energy spat into the cold night as trapped pockets of air escaped in minuscule explosions.

He continued to gaze straight into the fire until he reached a point where he could almost make out each single shimmering flame that contributed to the one burning whole. Each golden and almost fluid, pinnacle, born in an instant, would lick up one side of a branch, fall away and then flick up the opposite side like a hunter prowling for fresh game. As one flame died, his eyes would catch another birth and he’d follow its mesmerising movements as it danced up and down, and around, eating bark as it went.

Then it all stopped.

The fire hadn’t gone out; it was still alight and was exactly as it was before, but without any movement. No more flickering, no more crackling, no more snapping. The smell of burning wood had dissipated. The heat had gone and yet it wasn’t cold. It was almost as if all the vibrant energy in front of him had fallen into suspended animation. It had ceased to be active and had become a still 3D image.

Everything in the wider environment surrounding him and the bonfire had completely vanished. All the people were gone. All the sounds of a happy crowd; the rousing conversation, laughter, all the hustle and bustle, had simply disappeared. One minute it had been everywhere, and the next, it was just him and the bonfire frozen in time in complete and utter silence.

Before he could generate any sort of meaningful thought, it all started up again.

Nearby chatter, parents scolding their over-excited children, the sweet fragrance of burning birch, the blast of heat from the flames, all rocketed into his body causing him to recoil as if he’d taken a physical hit. He span round as men, women and children once again pushed past him as they went to and fro. Everything, it seemed, had returned to normal.

 

Sue and Nate arrived at the marquee and joined the queue that snaked round, and back on itself, like a meandering river. Sue unclasped her purse and pulled out a ten pound note.

‘Don’t worry about it, Sue, I’ll get these,’ said Nate, thrusting his hand into his back pocket.

‘Too late, I’m way ahead of you,’ she replied, smiling.

‘Right you are,’ he said, leaving his wallet where it was. ‘I have to say, Andy looks a little peaky but he seems to be on good form. How has he been since Thursday?’

‘He’s not been feeling too bad,’ she replied, paused for a moment, then scratched her temple. ‘Actually, you know what? He has seemed more himself these past couple of days.’

‘And what about the funny turn?’

‘Oh that? I’m surprised you remembered. I’ve been thinking about that and reckon it was probably nothing, you know, a lingering anomaly from the bang he got. It was something the doctors said could happen.’

‘That’s good. As long as you’re not worrying about it.’

‘No. I suppose it was a bit odd at first, but in hindsight, these sorts of things must be expected considering everything he’s been through.’

‘Chalk it up to experience then.’

‘Exactly,’ she said. ‘I’m glad I managed to get him out of the flat today though. I think the fresh air will do him the world of good.’

‘So, you’re still in the flat then?’ said Nate. ‘Still intent on keeping him in the dark?’

‘Yes, Nathan, I’m still in the flat,’ replied Sue, her mood darkening sharply. ‘But I’m not “keeping him in the dark”, as you put it, I’m simply waiting for the right time to discuss the situation with him.’

‘Discuss? What’s to discuss? Surely you just tell him you left him?’ Nate argued.

‘OK, OK,’ Sue said, exasperated. ‘If you want to be pedantic.’

‘And when is the right time? He seems well enough now doesn’t he?’

‘Well…’

‘You said once he recovered you’d tell him.’

‘Yes, but…’

‘And you just told me he has been more himself.’

‘Nate, that’s enough,’ said Sue, sternly. ‘Don’t push it. I need to give him more time to make sure things stay fine.’

‘But he needs to know the truth.’

‘He will, and why are you so caring all of a sudden anyway?’

‘I…’ Nate stammered. ‘I don’t like lying to my best mate, that’s why.’

‘OK,’ said Sue, looking up at him. ‘I’m sorry. But it’s not lying. I’ll talk to him soon, OK?’

Nate nodded, sticking his hands deep into his pockets. He hunched his shoulders and slowly rocked on his heels. The people in front shuffled forward a few paces.

‘I’m sorry, Sue,’ Nate said. ‘I don’t mean to pressure you. It must be hard living with him knowing what you know.’

‘You know the worst part?’ she said, sighing. ‘It’s coming up with a different excuse each time he wants to be intimate. I can cope with looking after him, you know, keeping an eye on him day and night, but when he wants to get close, I find it so… so…’

‘And have you been… close?’ he asked.

‘No… no,’ Sue replied, meeting his dagger-like stare. For a confusing moment her stomach fluttered, which she quickly put down to the fact that discussing such personal topics with Nate was unchartered territory.

‘Sorry,’ said Nate, holding his palm up. ‘It’s none of my business…’

‘I’ve found a way to manage,’ she continued, softly. ‘Sometimes, I feel as if I’m not in my body, you know, almost as if I’m acting out a part. It’s not right… it’s not fair…’

‘And that’s why you need to tell him,’ said Nate, turning to face her and clasping both of her shoulders.

‘I will, Nate,’ she answered. ‘I will.’

 

They both trudged back to the bonfire in silence, making no attempt to prevent the occasional rain drop plopping in the tomato soup they carried.

Upon reaching Andrew, Sue tapped him on the shoulder.

‘Andrew.’

But he didn’t answer.

‘Andrew, here is your soup,’ she said, nudging him gently with her shoulder, being careful not to spill any of the contents of the polystyrene cups.

No reply. Andrew just stood there facing the bonfire wearing a completely blank expression. She felt an immediate unease. Nate, however, found it rather amusing.

‘Broadsword calling Danny Boy, Broadsword calling Danny Boy,’ he said, putting on a commanding voice. There was no response so he tried again.

‘Come on sweet-cheeks. Here’s your tommy as requested. Andy, wake up.’

Again, nothing. Andrew didn’t stir.

Sue nudged him with more force.

‘Andrew, please. Your soup’s getting cold,’ she said, but he still didn’t flinch. She bent over, placed the steaming cup on the sodden grass and turned to face him, giving him a shake.

‘Andrew… Andrew. Please.’

Nate moved round and joined her trying to wrench him back into life.

‘Come on, Andy. Look lively mate,’ he said, his light-hearted tone all but extinguished.

‘Andrew, please. Andrew. Come on, you’re scaring me,’ pleaded Sue, sounding more desperate.

Nate waved his hand in front of the staring, vacant eyes.

‘Bloody hell, what is up with him?’ he exclaimed. ‘He’s totally out of it.’

Sue felt helpless, unsure as to what to do. She held his head in both hands and peered into his eyes, searching for signs of occupancy.

‘Andrew, baby. Please.’

This did the trick. Andrew sprang back into action, gasping for air as if he’d just breached the surface of the sea after a long free dive. Sue jumped on him, squeezing him tightly and planting kisses all over his pink cheeks. Nate turned and walked away.